The Joy of Sucking Cock, PLUS! 3 Delicious Tips to Help You Savor the Feast

I remember the first time I sucked a man’s cock. I was 19 years old and desperate to explore my sexuality (the high school boys always seemed too “immature”).

I’d spent several days anticipating my upcoming tryst with this man and poured over the internet for hours looking for the best ways to give head.

After memorizing what seemed like countless “Top 10” articles, I deemed myself an expert and set out on my mission for fellatio.

The hungry little slut was born.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE ON "MY TINY SECRETS"

How Orgasm Saved My Life

Photo by Jocelyn Marquis

"I thought I was going to die. But the truth was I was coming back to life. My orgasm would no more withstand the capital punishment I’d forced upon her and the harder I tried to hold her down, the louder she would cry. She would not stop until every lie I’d built around me collapsed into a burning pyre at my feet and there was nothing left but…me. Vulnerable. Surrendered. But in my charred nakedness, I discovered that the things I’d been taught to fear were the very things that had set me free."

READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE ON MY TINY SECRETS

Interview with Mai Vu on "Hot Life Hot Love"

I had a fabulous time with Mai Vu on her show "Hot Life Hot Love." We talked about feminine eroticism and shared some very personal and heartfelt stories about learning to grow up as sexual beings. Have a look below and leave a comment with your questions!

And be sure to visit the crowdfunding campaign for my book and pre-order your copy!

Pre-Order Your Copy of "From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism."

Pre-Order Your Copy Here: https://www.dana.io/from-6-to-9

***My Story***

This is the biggest risk I have ever taken in my life.

My name is Candice Holdorf. I am a writer and teacher of sexuality and orgasm. I spent many years of my life in desperate fear of my sexuality. I used anorexia as a way to numb my hunger. I hid behind my ex-husband so I wouldn't have to confront my desire.

Until the day came when I could not go on living as the walking dead. I made a "fear list" and did everything on that list because I wanted to know what was beyond my terror limit.

What I discovered was a woman learning to live in agreement with her own eroticism--which is not always easy given that we live in a society where female sexuality is often reduced to an object to be won, bought, bartered or stolen. 

Thanks to my own practice of connecting to my own innate eroticism, as well as teaching others to connect to their own, I now have access to a deeper truth: as a woman, it is my birthright to know my pleasure, speak my desire and celebrate my sexuality.

This book is more than just a project. It’s my prayer for the planet.

***What is From 6 to 9 and Beyond?***
From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism uses 6 fictional short stories, 9 poems and visionary photography by Seqouia Emmanuelle to capture the erotic awakening of 6 feminine archetypes: The Virgin, The Whore, The Warrior, The Queen, The Nun, The Grandmother.

My mission to shift the way we view sexuality, from sex as commerce to sex as expression of deepest truth.

My book moves beyond the male-gazing pornographic and Harlequin romance novel perspectives of female sexuality and reintroduces the erotic back into sex.

The me, the erotic is a way of living that is infused with joy, wonder and reverence for life. Every moment is an opportunity to tap into that dynamic, pulsing life force we call orgasm.

Welcome to the erotic evolution.

***Where will the money go?***
Our goal of $15,000 for this project will go towards hiring a professional editor, graphic designer and purchasing a publishing package. If we can meet (or exceed!) our stretch goal of $20,000, we can then market the book, pay taxes and cover all the incidental costs that come with producing art.

I will also donate 10% of book sale profits to two organizations: All We Want Is Love, an organization that fights to end sex trafficking and The National Eating Disorders Association. 

http://www.allwewantislove.org/

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org 

***Other Ways You Can Help***
If you can't contribute financially at this time, you can still join the movement! Share this campaign with your friends and post to social media.

As you can see there are lots of ways to participate. If you feel as passionately as I do about healing our relationship to sexuality, we need your help! Your voice, your contributions and your willingness to be a part of this movement are the only way we can make sustainable change.

In love and faith,
Candice Holdorf

Download my interview on "How We Talk About Sex"

I am proud and honored to be featured on Eric Leviton's fabulous podcast, "How We Talk About Sex," released on 5/18/14. Download the interview from iTunes and listen in as I share some of the more personal details of my erotic and spiritual journey, as well as a discussion of my upcoming book, From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism.

Click here to download.

NEW VIDEO! Why the Title "From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism"?

"From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism"
A New Book by Candice Holdorf
http://www.from6to9andbeyond.com

Filmed by Find Your Edge Media
http://www.findyouredgemedia.com

On a Sultry, Southern Sunday

I’m a Southern girl.

That means I always send thank you notes, order white gravy with my biscuits and often depend on the kindness of strangers.

Oh, and I never touch myself (as Anastasia Steele would call it) “down there.”

OK…maybe that last one is a bit of lie.

You see, in the South, that kind of thing was never talked about—especially with girls. Good girls simply didn’t have those urges. It was sort-of “damning by omission.”

Now boys on the other hand: according to the church, they needed to control themselves.

So imagine my confusion at age 12 when I…well…needed to learn to “control myself.” I felt sort-of like a freak. Why I was afflicted with this “boy issue.” And honestly, why was it such a bad thing?

Years later in college I finally realized the truth about female sexuality. The late night chats about what kind of porn girls liked, TV shows with vibrator jokes and the official angsty college-girl icon, Tori Amos, lifted the veil from an otherwise obscured understanding of my own body and sexual tastes.

But the shame was cemented inside of me.

I was, as many would say, a late bloomer. I was 19 when I gave my first blowjob and 21 when I first had genital intercourse. There was no tangible reason for why I chose to refrain from sexual exploration during my teen years other than to say, “I had better things to do.”

But I think some part of me had tamped down my desire as a pre-teen in order to save myself the secrecy and embarrassment I often felt before, during and after I touched myself.

Now, several years later, as I share pieces of my erotic journey through fiction and poetry in my new book, I am reminded of how very innocent pleasure is and how the archetype of the Virgin is a sovereign being, her body belonging to no one but herself.

Below is the Virgin’s poem, based on my own experiences of erotic awakening, my adolescent faith in Jesus (for whom I still feel deep reverence) and the conflict that often arose between the two.

On A Sultry Southern Sunday

On a sultry southern Sunday
Hazy honeysuckle in the heat
Christians soldiers fan themselves
With folded programs for relief

The preacher, collar stained with sweat,
Says, “Turn to Psalm 23.”
Daddy glances towards the acolytes
But I’m not where I should be

I’m lyin’ down in greener pastures
Inviting a quickening breath
Restoring a sad, scarred soul through
My valley of the shadow of death

Bring those quiet waters
To a rolling, raging boil
Let my fingers do the prayin’
Anoint my head with palm oil

Break your rod, keep your staff
Hungry hands need to feed
And your wafer-scrap holy bite
Leaves me writhing in hollow need

And after the shepherd’s spoken
The flock, freshly blessed,
Head to brunch to gorge their guilt
In feasts of righteousness

They’re born and bled to hide behind
The good book of the past
Tissue thin leaves won’t cut their skin
When they turn the pages too fast

But on a sultry southern Sunday
When I’m upstairs all alone
It ain’t no low-swung chariot
Comin’ for to carry me home

VIEW THIS ARTICLE ON ELEPHANT JOURNAL 

New Website Devoted to My Book, "From 6 to 9 and Beyond"

Hello all,

It is with great pleasure that I unveil my latest project, From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism." You may recall all those videos blogs I did in July and August, as well as the Indiegogo campaign I ran.

Well, as the book unfolds, I am posting excerpts from the stories and poetry and pictures! You can find them all at one place at the url below. Be sure to check back for more updates as the book unfolds!

http://www.from6to9andbeyond.com

"From 6 to 9 and Beyond: The Virgin"
Photo Credit: Sequoia Emmanuelle

69 Vlogs. 69 Days #47: My Sexual Confession

My Sexual Confession

Why Feminine Eroticism Matters to EVERYONE

Because we live in society still locked in shame around our sex, genuine sexuality never gets taught. Because of that porn and mass media are our primary source of sex education. We're being told what is sexy, rather than discovering it for ourselves, and because of that, sex becomes a product. 

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