Friday, January 27, 2012

One of Those Girls (Written 8/1/2009)

Photo Credit: Michal Marcol
One of Those Girls
(written 8/1/2009)

I am afraid
Afraid of losing you
To the Pretty Young Things
With straight blond hair
Slender white thighs
Girls eating ice cream
And playing volleyball
Paragons of petite perfection
In their pink sunglasses
Fierce acrylics
And cherry red lipstick
(Canine teeth flashing)

I am not One of Those Girls
No, I have loved too much
My heart, a menagerie
Of shattered glass
My unicorn horn
Super-glued back on
One too many times
And yet…somehow…
Your perfect hands
Continue to collect
My 1001 colors
Like shells in the sand

That doesn’t mean
I am not afraid
Afraid of losing you
To the Pretty Young Things
With straight blonde hair
And slender white thighs
Teasing lollipops
With their tongues
Playing volleyball
In the sun
Blissfully ignorant
To their ephemeral beauty

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Orgasmic Living: Sharing Frames

Crashing waves against rocks next to Sutro Baths, SF, CA
"There was a period lasting about a minute where I knew if I "clamped down" I could climax...yet I just relaxed more and rode the razor edge of the sparkly, shimmery, cool, thick high...I wasn't moving a muscle...I didn't dare want anything "extra" on top of that sensation."--Frame from my OM on January 24, 2012

In OMing, a frame is a snapshot of moment of sensation (temperature, texture, location, vibration) when you felt something in your body. We do this at the end of the OM for many reasons:

1. It puts language to an otherwise inexpressible experience, which helps integrate the feeling and thinking brains.

2. It creates a personalized Orgasmic Map, so that once you discover a secret chamber within you, you have a route back to that place.

3. It transmits the sensation of the experience and heightens the intimacy between you and your partner. If you simply say, "that was good," your partner doesn't really know what your "good" feels like compared to his/hers. But if you say, "there was a moment I felt heat in my chest," your partner can viscerally relate to that.

4. It helps the stroker and strokee ground their energy and move back into everyday life after sitting in an intense field of sensation. This way, they can easily move back into their "normal" lives without feeling spacey and high.

5. It's an opportunity to practice the Slow Sex tenet of "simplicity"--feeling and expressing the simple truth of the experience, without creating a back story or attaching a meaning.

6. It keeps your attention out, rather than in your racing brain. Knowing that sharing a frame is a key step in the OM, you must stay present and consistently conscious. Otherwise you will have completely missed the ride and have nothing to say at the end!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Unexpressed Desire

Copyright Candice Holdorf
Unexpressed Desire

Cool raindrops on my window.
A liquid warmth insulates
The soft Sunday morning
(The grey skies
A cozy backdrop
For our scene)

My bare right thigh
Rests on your pajama-ed leg.
My right hand slipped
Under your left
As my palm inhales
The heat from your ribs.

You hover on the edge
Of a waking snooze.
A soft snore rises
From your throat.
A moment frozen
With desire.

This could go in any direction.

On the one hand,
I hate to disturb your sweet surrender,
Like a nostalgic portrait
Studied by professors
And glanced over by disinterested tourists
As they rush through the gallery.

On the other hand,
I want nothing more than to feel
Your lips brush the side of my neck.
Your entire fist slowly twisting inside me.
Your coarse fingers mash my left breast,
Squeeze out my nipple and tug with your teeth.

Another soft snore.
A resigned sigh.
I pull my hand out from your shirt
In one, cottony stroke.
Unraveling from you,
I tiptoe to the door

Turning in time
To see your lazy smile
And half-opened eyes.
“I’ll let you get some rest,”
I whisper, as the door firmly latches
Behind my back.

Orgasmic Journey: Oh The Places You'll Go

I've been reflecting on this past year and I have to say, it's been pretty awesome and in no way what I thought it was going to be. I've moved across the country, sold 75% of my belongings and am in the midst of completely tossing out all the old maps to "getting to where I think I should go" and am learning to follow the moment to moment compass of desire. It hasn't always been easy, but I've magically ended up in some cities I'd never planned on visiting (Austin?! Montreal?!). And it all arose from simply saying "yes" to the opportunity before me. So upon seeing the recent Burning Man viral video, Oh The Places You'll Go, I was inspired to share some photos of my 2011 Orgasmic Journey.

New York City

Times Square, December 31, 2010
Empire State Building, January 2011
Frost on Bush in Astoria, February 2011

59th St and 5th Ave, March 2011

Broadway and 10th St, March 2011

Strawberry Fields, April 2011

Astoria, April 2011

My Stoop Sale in Astoria, April 2011

Washington Square Park, April 2011

Ducks in Central Park, May 2011
Manhattanhenge, June 2011

Street Fair in Astoria, July 2011

Orgasm Is in Union Square, July 2011

View of Harlem from NJ, July 4, 2011

Manhattan Bridge from Brooklyn, August 2011

Occupy Wall Street, October 2011

San Francisco

Tulips of Pier 39, March 2011

View of Alcatraz from Pier 39, March 2011

Haight-Ashbury, August 2011

Hayes and Octavia, October 2011

Golden Gate Bridge and fog from the Headlands, November 2011

Yerba Buena Gardens, November 2011

Fill Up America, December 2011

Castro Heights, January 1, 2012

Muir Beach, January 1, 2012

View of Noe Valley, January 2012

SF Skyline from Bay Bridge, January 2012

SF from Lincoln Park, January 2012

6th Street in SoMa, January 2012

Los Angeles

Beverly Hills, October 2011

Rodeo Drive, October 2011

Santa Monica in the sunset, December 2011

Venice Beach, December 2011


Washington DC Capitol, February 2011

Little Pond, Bethlehem, PA, August 2011

Little Pond, Bethlehem, PA, August 2011

Place Jacques Cartier, Montreal, August 2011

Notre Dame, Montreal, August 2011

Jardin Nelson, Montreal, August 2011

On the road to Burning Man, August 2011

The Temple of Transition, Burning Man, August 2011

The Man, Burning Man, August 2011

Calistoga, CA, November 2011

Calistoga, CA, November 2011

Austin, TX, November 2011

Barton Springs, Austin, TX, November 2011

On the road from LA to SF, December 2011

Atlanta, GA, December 2011